Why do ...

Why do I let the stupid little things get under my skin so much? I've been feeling really good lately too. It's so stupid, and I wish I didn't let it get to me. It's just a goddamned song Kyla... you're not even a singer for godssakes!Ah, well... keep living and get over it, eh? Yes, I'm fully willing to admit that I have my hang-ups and that when I get upset (whether over something important or not) I'm probably going to pop a few veins until I decide that I'm being an idiot. I didn't get this upset when it started raining in my bathroom. I just sighed, put out a bucket and threw down some towels. *curtsies* Presenting the Amazing Unpredictable Kyla!I suppose its a good thing that I can laugh at myself still though. Granted, I really don't want to sing this song, but I will. No use being childish about it. I'm going to be 27 in a month (exactly a month) after all. 27!? Ugh... and I've just mentally reached 19... No, that's not right. I am 26 (for another month) I just have a... watchacallit... playful? immature? I-don't-wanna-grow-up-cause-I'm-a-Toy'rUs-kid? streak.And now! MEN! I demand men!*waits**waits more**still waiting*This is gonna take a while, so feel free to go grab a bubble tea or something.*more waiting*Dammit... now I want bubble tea.

Today I've learne...

Today I've learned that I can still be mad very very angry by stupid things. Such as having to sing "Put on a Happy Face" from Bye Bye Birdie for my voice final. I. HATE. THAT. GODDAMNED. SONG. I don't even like Bye Bye Birdie. At all. Frankly I'm insulted by the fact that my voice instructor felt that this was the best song for me to sing out of the dozens of songs that are in our songbook. After getting over the thoughts that this is the absolute worst song you could ever make someone who has struggled with being suicidally depressed for the vast majority of her life to sing then I start thinking that maybe I really do suck as much as I used to think I do and he doesn't think I could sing anything more complex. This song sure as hell doesn't even test my range... at all.So, yeah... I'm pissed as all hell over this. Even though I know it's a silly thing to get angry over. And I'm really embarrassed that I want to cry because of this.Well, he did say that I should try to "feel angry" when I sing. This is a really poor way to get me to do that though.

Oh yay! Spring i...

Oh yay! Spring is coming! The air is warming up! It's raining in my bathroom!Wait... did she say "raining in the bathroom"?Why yes. Yes I did. Apparently a pipe or something burst or started leaking or something (honestly at this point I don't care why it happened I just wanted it to stop). And I had water pouring in from the exhaust fan and down the door jamb. Not all the time, just some of the time. I think they've fixed it now though... all that noise and banging they were making yesterday they'd better have fixed it...But anyway... Warmer weather makes me happy... until it gets too warm, then I'll start complaining again. Spring Break was nice. Didn't do as much as I feel I should have, but it's fucking Spring Break! and I deserve a break once in a while!.

Woo! OMG ...

Woo! OMG that was so much fun! ^_^ Well... once I stopped being nervous as hell and squeaking through the song I was singing. Today I had my "midterm" for voice (we sing three times, solo, in class. This was number two). I sang "Any Dream Will Do" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (actually Janelle and I both sang the same song today... only two people sing a day). I had it down this mornig. But when I tried to sing it the first time around I squeaked and cracked through the first half. By the time I got to the second half I was in "who gives a shit" mode and actually started singing decently. David, my instructor, made me start again (his little secret for me: pretend the audience hates you and hate them back... trust me this works) and it sounded SO much better the second time around. After that he had me do some basic singing excersizes... and I surprized the hell out of him, Bree (the accompanment), and the class. Holy shit those were some high notes! ^_^ He's pretty sure I'm a dramatic soprano (though he won't say for certain), except that I'm higher in range than most dramatics (and he was really impressed that I was getting that high considering I was still really tense and nervous). His biggest piece of advice to me was to relax (which I already knew) because I have a really big voice, I just have to learn how to use it.*giddy*Oh yeah... and to hell with locking this journal.